The Color of Playdough...

Yes, this a long post...
but trust me, it's worth it.

I was privy to one of those moments in motherhood that we all dread...and remember...and eventually laugh about (or at least...I tell myself I will laugh).

It all started with a pillow fight.

For dinner the other night I tried some new fancy schmancy recipe from Pintrest. I was delicious...and ridiculously spicy (note to all of you...chipolte chili's in adobo sauce may look small and innocent...and may even smell a little sweet...but they are spicy...like your nose running all over that pretty little tostatda spicy. Get the picture?).
So, while Alma and I consumed what can best be described as "the firey depths of hell on a tostada shell"...the kids had scrambled eggs and toast.
I know...dinner of champions.

Fast forward about 45 minutes.
Alma has left for his weekly church youth group activity, leaving me with two small children with energy to burn.
Enter: The Pillow Fight.

It was all fun and games until one fateful moment.
Bella was down for the count, so I started "roughing her up" with the pillows.
She suddenly sits straight up, stating those 3 words every parent dreads:
"I'm Gonna Puke!".

And then it happened.

Bella, who is not a puker in any form, covered her mouth in an attempt to stop the contents of her stomach from making an apprearance.
Guess what...it didn't work.

Up came the vomit.
Oh..and not just any vomit.
Vomit the color of green playdough.
Yes.
GREEN playdough.
I only assume it was from the blue slushie she had earlier that day.

So, there she is spewing abnormally green vomit...speckled with bright yellow chunks of scambled eggs (at which point I'm thinking "I should have made them pancakes for dinner intead...stupid eggs").

She is still trying to cover her mouth, therefore the gastric contents (you like my way of not saying vomit? shoot...vomit), those contents are SPRAYING out the sides.
All over her doting mother kneeling next to her...AKA...me.

Then, the smell hit.
I see a lot of vomit.
A LOT.
I'm a nurse for crying out loud.
But this..this was different.
Hot green and yellow gunk, spewing everywhere...and the smell was AWFUL.

So, Oliver starts gagging.

And then I start gagging.
Gagging, you see, is a problem at this particular moment.
A problem because my bladder is full of crystal light...and it also has the tone of jello. I have my kids to thank for that.
So, I'm gagging....and every time I gag....my jello toned bladder refuses to cooperate.
I'm gagging...and peeing my pants...at the same time...covered in bright green puke....with little specks of yellow...

Gag. Pee. Gag. Pee. Gag....
you get the picture.

It is not my proudest moment.

You may think the story ends there...but you are oh so very very wrong.

I scoop up what I can and dispose of it in the toilet.
I carry Bella upstairs to the tub and Oliver trails along behind me.

Kids in the tub.
Water is running.
And I start the fun process of treating the clothes covered in puke...and er...pee.

I'm in the bathroom or right at the door of the bathroom (where my washer is), treating clothes and eyeing the kids.
Not noticing all the while just how exactly full the tub is getting.
Trust me....it's getting full.
And the kids are splashing. A lot.
I'm too involved at the sink to look at the floor.

Oliver suddenly states he needs to go potty...NOW...in THE FROGGY POTTY (aka his little potty).
So, I give Bella the "I'm running down the stairs to grab the potty...you scream as loud as you can if Oliver puts his face in the water in the next 10 seconds.

I run downstairs, grab the potty...and as I'm sprinting back to the stairs...I hear the faintest trickle.

And there it is...the water leaking from my ceiling onto my cabinents....directly under the bathroom.

*$*#()@!

I run back upstairs, hurdling the puke puddle still settling into it's new home on my carpet, and turn off the faucet to the tub.
It is THEN that I look at the floor....which is covered...no...flooded....over the back half of the bathroom...and there are the two kids in the tub...

one with puke in her hair...the other looking at my face in horror...both holding buckets.
Buckets they have been splashing around water with....right out of the tub.

This is the part where I start to loose it a little.

I raise my voice to a stern "what in the world were you doing with those buckets!" tone (you know the tone I'm talking about...admit it...you know)....

and then....

to top it all off....

Oliver stands up in the tub....

and pees.

This would be the perfect time to yell one of those shreiking shrew yells.
In a matter of 15 mintues...my floor, my kids, and myself have been covered in lime green vomit. With yellow chunks.
The ceiling to the kitchen leaked....
and now the kids were sitting in a tub of warm water...and pee.

Yes, it was the perfect time to really really loose it.
But...

at that point, the only rational thing to do (and by rational, I mean "the crazy button" alarmed in my head)...laugh.

Really.
Laugh.

So I did.
One of those "this is ridiculous and I'm going to 'really' laugh someday...kind of laughs.
I think it freaked my kids out a little.

It all ended well.
The kids were extracted rapidly from the tub.
It was later refilled with clean water, in which all traces of pee and puke were washed off their bodies and out of memory.

The bright green puke was cleaned off the carpet (cleaned over 2 awesome hours and multiple treatments of Spot Shot and Lysol...and an appt. for a carpet cleaner next week).

The leaking ceiling is in repair processes.

We had warm stories and giggles before bedtime.

And I'm laughing about that horrid moment of motherhood.
That..and I've learned to NEVER "rough up" Bella[s stomach during a pillow fight...right after dinner....on a day she has had blue slusies and scrambled eggs.

Because Playdough Green vomit...can be the start of of very
very
very interesting evening.